Wednesday, December 22, 2010

One Day You'll Love Your Fish Oil!

Dear Lovely Daughter,

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating just a bit about really loving your fish oil.  But it is my true hope that one day you will know how important it is to take care of yourself...and I hope that you'll know that taking care of yourself will probably always be different and more intense for you, but it is so worth it. 

I am so thrilled to have you back and to have the opportunity to work on the day to day issues...realizing that bananas are a problem for you, putting together the fact that when I loosen up and let you have gingerbread and pizza crust (even with no cheese) on several occasions, clothes start to bother you more.  I'm happy that you can go to school and function like the you that I know that you are.  I'm simply blessed to have you here.  Because there was a time when you were completely gone from us, when you couldn't stand anyone or anything and when you couldn't stand to be in your own skin.  And it seemed like we were going to be hunting for the right medication forever.  The one that would bring you home.

But God's hand has carried us through it all.  There have been so many twists and turns in our story...the story of you and of us loving you....that we would have never made them all were it not for God's guidance.  And even now, sweet girl, I know that we are not at the end.  More of our story will unravel.  Perhaps our entire story will be one of unraveling, one of doing what is best for you now and of always observing and bettering the plan. 

Fish oil, my girl, tastes pretty sweet when it is part of a plan that brings your soft cheek back to my lips and wonderful you back into the circle of our family.  You are why our family motto is "Never, never, never, never, never give up."

What's For Lunch Today?

Simple is the name of the game today.  I need to go to the store in a bad, bad way, and there's not even any fruit or an applesauce cup to snack on.  So here's the meal plan...a box of quinoa elbow macaroni from Ancient Harvest and spaghetti sauce on top.  If I had more time (or ingredients), I can imagine that it might be pretty good and nutritious with grated carrots and tiny bits of steamed broccoli.  But today, simplicity gets the prize!

Call Me a Donut Sneak

After doing a total yeast detox diet including nystatin and diflucan for my daughter (the total diet for the rest of our family),  we have now relaxed a little bit and are doing gfcf.  I still really limit sugar and vinegar and am afraid of all bread--even rice bread--because it all seems to contain yeast. 

My dirty little secret, however, is donuts.   When I am in the car alone or with the baby girl (which can be arranged almost daily), a couple of donuts....that's an easy thing to work out!  It's like my fix, and Shipley's Donuts has become my dealer!  And it has been satisfying my sweet tooth for longer than I'd like to admit now (perhaps 3 months?).  But over the past week or so, for some reason, I seem to have forgotten about donuts.  And then I realized that this really bothersome, itchy, the dermatologist-doesn't-know-what-causes-it-but-it's-been-here-for-about-3-months, rash, disappeared.  Hmmmm.

So tonight, 6 hours ago, I decided to test it.  I "forced" myself to have two glazed donuts.  Lo and behold, my hands are itchy.  Not enough that I can say that I KNOW it's because of the donuts.  But let's just say they're the prime suspect. 

I can't get away with anything.....

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

How Long Since We've Had Pizza?

A reeeeeaaaally long time, I tell ya'!  Tonight when we tasted this pizza, it "tasted heavenly" as my four year old boy says!  I agree....and I don't think it's just because none of us can remember what pizza tastes like!

So how did we have pizza on a yeast detox diet?  (You, too, can have it if you are GFCF!)  We used a little package that I found in HEB grocery story yesterday.  The brand is Chebe.  I love Chebe! 

Chebe is a packaged mix that we used for the crust (and it can be used for other things).  I followed the packaged instructions and then topped it with tomato sauce (homemade spaghetti sauce is #1), cooked chicken, black olives, onions, bell peppers, garlic.  My children walked downstairs sniffing the air and saying, "Yummmmmmm!"  And it was!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

After One Week on the Yeast Detox Diet

Today tears roll down my cheeks as I sit at my computer to tell you what happened in my house. 

Many tears have rolled down my cheeks as I have recounted things that have happened in this many things I'd like to forget.  But I pray that I never forget this one.

My lovely little girl told me that she'd like to wear a fancy dress to church today.  She wanted to wear the dress that she wore to her cousin's wedding last summer.  As she told me this, I couldn't keep the visions of her in that dress out of my mind....her screaming that it was too tight, too itchy, yelling that she hated her daddy and me, crying, throwing a tantrum that my parents' neighbor would later relate to my mother and finally "accidentally" ripping the seam that held the shoulder strap to the body of the dress.  I tried to brush those pictures out of my head while I calmly (on the outside) asked her if she was sure.

My girl was sure.  That Cinderella blue dress was calling her name. 

As she came back from my closet with the dress (why did I even still have the thing?), I smoothed out my nervous insides and let her try it on.  She put the dress on, and it was a little snug.  "Could you zip it up?" she asked.  Still trying to smooth down my nervous insides, I zipped it up for her.  "Ooooh, I think it is really going to be tight,"  I said.

And here's the kicker.  Little Girl looked down at those seams that really were ready to split this year.  She looked at those seams, and....are you ready?  Little Girl laughed.  She looked down at those seams, laughed out loud and said, "I think my OCD is gone!"

So I sit here all wet-faced, thanking God and thinking that there has to be something to this yeast thing.  Thank you, God!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

In the Beginning--Part Two

If you have not read the beginning of our story, please go here.

Finally, at the end of Little Sister's kindergarten year, things had reached the peak of difficulty. Or so Mama thought. Mama loved Little Sister and really missed her. Little Sister seemed so worried and upset and angry so much of the time. Mama couldn't remember the last time that she saw Little Sister smile. In fact, that became Mama's find her girl with a smile on her face.

Mama called a group of occupational therapists and told their story. She wondered if they could help. Mama told that she would get Little Sister up and dress her in her school uniform while Little Sister was still half asleep because Little Sister could not get dressed without extreme fits and discomfort. The OT said it sounded like a behavior problem to him.

At the end of the year conference with the teachers, the teachers told Mama that they didn't see anything out of the ordinary and that Mama was getting so tense and upset about nothing. Mama did something that she had never done in any conference with an adult. Mama cried.

Little Sister had joined the neighborhood swim team, following in her sister's footsteps. However, trying the bathing suit on during sign up had become a major scene in the bathroom. Of course it was too tight. Mama thought that Little Sister was just being picky and didn't want to listen. Time outs and other consequences followed. Little Sister became more angry and irritable.

Little Sister took swim lessons to prepare for swim team. There were three other kiddos in the class, and she did really well, learning to swim the length of the pool. When swim team started however, with 30-40 children at the pool at a time, she became "difficult". After her first few opportunities to swim to one of the teachers, she really started to dislike it. Looking back, Mama realized that Little Sister was trying to make some sort of connection with the teacher, but it wasn't always the same teacher, and there was a more demanding, pushing spirit than Little Sister had experienced at swim lessons.

Soon, she started to spit the word, "No!" to the teacher when she asked Little Sister to do something. Ultimately, Little Sister was dismissed from swim team with the idea that she might be ready the next year. The teacher clearly gave the impression that Little Sister was a "rough" kid. For the first time, Mama was not only hurt because an outsider had seen this behavior, but she was really embarrassed. And to be honest, Mama was angry. Little Sister who had been so kind and loving, seemed to have morphed into a child who was going to prove that nobody could make her do anything.

Within the next month, Little Sister could no longer wear anything other than one pair of very stretched out pajamas. Mama took Little Sister, who wore her pajamas and a pair of Crocs, shopping to find something--anything--to wear. They went to Wal-Mart, Target, Gymboree, the Children's Place. Little Sister couldn't find anything that she could wear. Nothing was soft enough, stretchy enough, endurable enough.

The next day was Sunday, and Little Sister couldn't wear the church dress that she had worn the last Sunday. Mama tried to help Little Sister find something else, but everything brought out a horrible tantrum and lots of yelling and screaming. Mama was very frustrated. And ticked off. If this was just bad behavior, then what else could she do? Finally, Mama dressed Little Sister in a school uniform even though it was Sunday. The uniform had been her sister's and was a size larger than Little Sister had been wearing to school.

Little Sister couldn't bear it. She shrieked. She yelled. She hit. Mama carried her to the van. Daddy took the baby in the other car. Once strapped in and on the way to church, Little Sister screamed bloody murder. She screamed gutteral screams and yelled that she haaaaaated her parents. More gutteral screams and thrashing--kicking the windows and the back of the seat in front of her. Mama thought that Littl Sister was going to kick the window out in the van and/or break the seat in front of her.

Seems silly that Mama, Little Sister and the rest of the family still went to church that day, but at this point, Little Sister behaved like this so much of the time that if they didn't go anywhere when she acted this way, the family would have been on house arrest. Right or wrong, Mama felt like Little Sister would "fall into place" when they got where they were going.

Once the family got to church, Mama held an exhausted Little Sister on her lap during the service. Little Sister sat chest to chest on Mama's lap the entire service, and she was spent. Red, swollen eyes and absolute exhaustion colored Little Sister's face. Mama's heart was breaking. This was the child that she had prayed over, "Lord, let us always be close." What was going on?

More of our story to come....